In this episode, Steve Harper and Michelle Cutler, a storytelling coach and screenwriter, delve into how the stories we tell ourselves shape our identities and influence our lives. They highlight the power of reframing these narratives to create new perspectives and opportunities. Cutler shares personal anecdotes, such as completing a marathon despite identifying since childhood as a non-athlete to illustrate the power of reframing limiting narratives. Harper contributes a childhood memory of being labeled an underachiever, discussing how that belief influenced his life until he challenged it. Cutler provides practical tools, including exercises like “Flip the Script” and “Name the Narrator,” to help clients rewrite negative inner stories into empowering ones. She emphasizes that storytelling is not just a creative tool but also a means for personal transformation, leaving listeners inspired to reflect on and reshape their own narratives.
We all have stories that we tell ourselves—stories that shape our beliefs, influence our actions, and define who we are. These stories are often rooted in past experiences, and while they can be empowering, they can also be limiting. But what if we could rewrite these stories? What if we could reframe the narratives we’ve carried with us for years and use them to create the life we truly want?
Reframing is the process of examining the stories we tell ourselves and looking for evidence that challenges the negative beliefs we hold. By shifting our perspective, we can transform our mindset and open ourselves up to new possibilities.
Reframing through evidence involves looking at your past experiences and finding proof that contradicts negative stories. For example, think about a time when you’ve believed something like, “No one likes my cooking” or “I’m not good at relationships.” These beliefs often stem from a single experience, and over time, we internalize them as truths. But when we take a step back and examine the evidence, we can see a different story.
Consider a family gathering where someone asked you questions about your cooking, prompting you to reflect on the dishes you’ve made over the years. Maybe you’ve made a dish that others raved about, or perhaps someone specifically asked for your recipe. Looking back at these moments can help you reframe the story you’ve been telling yourself and recognize that your cooking is, in fact, appreciated.
This idea of reframing can be applied to any area of your life. If you’ve ever believed you weren’t capable of long-term relationships, for example, take a moment to look for evidence to the contrary. Perhaps there are examples in your family, or you’ve had successful friendships that have lasted. Reframing allows you to shift your perspective and embrace the possibility of a new narrative.
Our beliefs are often shaped by early experiences, many of which we may not even remember. A comment from a teacher, a remark from a parent, or a failure in childhood can plant a seed of doubt that grows into a limiting belief. For instance, imagine a teacher telling you that you’re an “underachiever” after a less-than-perfect painting. This comment, no matter how small, could become a part of your story, influencing your self-esteem and shaping your future actions.
The key to breaking free from these limiting beliefs is to recognize that they are often based on false evidence. The story you’ve been telling yourself may not be the whole truth. Instead of letting these beliefs define you, take the time to examine your past and look for evidence that contradicts them. You may find that your story is more complicated than you thought and that you are capable of much more than you realize.
Completing tasks and seeing projects through to the end is another way to gain a sense of accomplishment and control over your narrative. Many of us can relate to the feeling of starting something, only to leave it unfinished. Whether it’s a creative project or a personal goal, the act of completing something can be deeply fulfilling.
However, it’s also important to recognize that not everything deserves to be finished. Sometimes, we fall into the trap of believing we need to complete every task on our to-do list, even if it doesn’t truly serve us. The key is to discern which tasks are worth your energy and attention and to focus on completing those. Completion isn’t just about crossing things off a list; it’s about following through on what matters most.
Through self-reflection, we can understand the value of completing what we set out to do, but we can also recognize the importance of letting go of tasks that no longer align with our values or goals. This mindset shift helps us avoid burnout and ensures that our time and energy are spent on what truly matters.
Writing is a powerful tool for exploring and reframing your story. Whether you’re writing for yourself or sharing your experiences with others, the act of putting your thoughts into words can help you process your emotions, gain clarity, and create new narratives. Writing allows you to examine your past, reflect on your present, and envision your future.
When you share your stories with others, you open the door to connection and understanding. Others may see your story from a different perspective, offering insights that you may have missed. This exchange of stories can be healing and transformative, allowing you to move forward with a clearer sense of purpose.
Reframing your story isn’t just about changing the past—it’s about creating the future you want. By examining the evidence, challenging limiting beliefs, and embracing the power of completion, you can rewrite your narrative and step into the life you deserve.
Remember, the story you tell yourself today shapes the reality you will experience tomorrow. By taking control of your narrative, you can open yourself up to new possibilities and create a future that aligns with your true self. Get storytelling help from Storytelling Coach Michelle Cutler here.